my blog is turning 2.

on Oct 26th, i celebrate my 2 year bloggerversary. isn't that just cute? yeah.
so, for your reading pleasure, i decided to compile some of my past posts. there isn't really a rhyme or reason to the posts i chose, i just found things like:
+my first ever post on this blog.
+14 posts worth of fun fact fridays.
+the time i wrote about my camo shoes.
+documentation of all the things that made me smile.
+my first (and only) outfit post.
+the time i showed off my mad picniking skills.
+a vent session on all things ridiculous.
+my 2010 crush week.
+my letters to the universe.
+and the time an "anon" left me a love note on my views on outer appearance and the opposite sex in my 2 part discussion entitled: you had me until the chacos. {part 1 here}, {part 2 here}.
+i talked about disneyland.
+and gave myself a pep talk.
+i read books.
+ and confessed to watching a lot of Judge Judy.
+there was the first time i visited the mall in texas and the first time i ever drove on the freeway in texas.
+i talked about the time i had a pet duck.
+and gave myself another pep talk.
and so, so, so much more. do you ever go through your archives and just laugh at some of the stuff you wrote? i most def do. but i only laugh to keep myself from cringing because i truly wrote about some cr-azy stuff. i mean, really? anyway, its been so great reminiscing on my blog though. i love remembering the different points of my life that i was in when i wrote x post or found a spectacular new blog to follow...
bottom line is, i love blogging and i'm grateful for the wonderful outlet it provides me. its incredible to be able to sit down and write whatever i want. and that's why i blog, my friends.

oh, and to celebrate my 2 year bloggerversary, i'll be announcing my awesome giveaway tomorrow.
rock on, readers, rock on.

♥ ♥

26.

well, tomorrow is the day. and to be honest, i don't really know how i feel about turning 26. i look back and i think there's so much that i haven't done, where has my time gone? it makes me realize how short life can really seem. the thing is, i don't really ever remember being one of those people that was dying to grow up when i was younger. i remember wishing i was older a few times but for the most part, i lived in the moment or fantasized about a completely different life altogether.
now i'm staring 26 right in the face and its scary. what's going to happen to me in the next five years? the same old stuff that's been happening to me the last five years? or things i only dreamed of happening? grasping reality at this point seems almost impossible.

i know i'm not making much sense, and that's okay. its just weird when you sit and take a look at your life and you realize you've done basically jack squat. i've not graduated from college or made a lot of money or gotten married or had children. i haven't done much traveling or joined the peace core. i weigh more than i used to and i get depressed more often then not. so what have i done in the last 26 years?

...good question. it took some thinking and here's what i've come up with:

i've learned that capturing a picture that makes me smile every time i look at it is enough to make me want to never put my camera down. i'm not half bad at photographing people/things and that is something beautiful.

i've mended relationships with family members that i felt might be beyond repair. not too long ago, my sister and i were not very close but once i realized how horrible our relationship was we've been able to move past that and become friends. i like having her around and i miss her on days when our schedules are too hectic for our paths to cross.

i've come to realize that laughter is the best medicine. even if i don't know what i'm laughing at just the actual act of laughing alone can help keep me sane and human-feeling. i've also learned that crying is a better release than almost anything. sometimes just letting the tears fall are enough to keep me going.

i've learned that its okay to be sad. yes, it hurts and its tiring and sometimes there's a certain level of sad that i can't even understand, but its okay. everyone hurts in their own ways but with hurt comes growth.

i've realized that if you look for the ugly things in a person you will most definitely find them. but if you look for something beautiful in someone, the ugly things become less noticeable and you can learn to truly love. with that i've learned that everyone has a certain beauty inside of them. there is something about every single person in the world that makes them beautiful.

i've learned that its hard to be an individual. especially when your ideas and standards don't match what those around you believe. its hard realizing what you like and why you like it when the opinions of others are bearing down on you. but i've also learned that if you stick to what you believe in no matter what you might not always be the most popular but you will feel the best about yourself.

i've learned that if all i can manage is one day at a time, at least i can manage that.

i've realized that reading and writing are my two true passions in life. not much else can compare to what i feel when i'm doing either of these things. there is just something about creating my own story and reading what others have created that satisfies me.

and lastly, i've realized i just want to love and be loved. it is so hard to hate and grudge and judge. and it is so hard to be hated and grudged and judged. why not love instead?

so. i may not have had 3 beautiful children by now, or received a diploma. i may not have seen the pyramids in egypt or completed a humanitarian house in a third-world-country. but i did learn things about life. things i feel to be detrimental to myself and to the future me. and i guess, for now, that's plenty.

♥ ♥

p.s. it would seem i'm off on years. not sure how that happened, but here they all are:

{2008}

{2009}

{2010}

the simple minded ant.

i was just outside reading my book letting the warmth soak into my skin when i noticed a solitary ant scurrying about on the pavement. he (yes, i'm sure it was a he) walked in one direction then back to where he had come from then off in a different direction and still, back to where he started. he approached me numerous times, my cell phone, my leg but he never went around or over them. just to them and then back to his original position.
at first i thought perhaps the ant was looking for food. ants, as you know, like food. especially human food. but the more i watched him, the more i came to realize: he seemed lost... i was in his way! his home was somewhere close and my big human bum was blocking his path. you see, ants can't just walk around obstacles such as those. that would be like walking through the amazon rain forest or climbing over mount everest. what a feat. and yes, its true, ants have more legs than we do, so they can walk more quickly than we can, but i imagine ant-time is much different than people-time. so walking over me in a quick fashion is hours to him where to me it is meer minutes.
poor guy. i probably threw off his whole day.
so, i got up and i moved and you know what? the ant found his way home.

and here is today's photo:

{2007}

♥ ♥

dear today,

i hate your stinkin' guts.

you make me vomit.

you are the scum between my toes.

love,

me

p.s. 2004, 5 & 6 me hate you too:

{2004}

{2005}

{2006}

♥ ♥

the wayfarers.

last weekend i went to my friends' bands last performance together before Lo went and took her smarty pants self to law school. it was lovely.
the band is called the Wayfarers (yes, after the Rayban model) and they sing mostly Beatles covers.

perfect right? no, it gets better. all their shows are in coffee shops. okay. now that's perfect. even though i don't drink coffee, i love the chill atmosphere.

i know. not the best photos ever. but the lighting in the lovely, chill coffee shop? not so lovely and a little too chill. and i'm anti-flash so... that's the best of what i got.

oh, also, happy 2003 past me!:

{i'm the one with the dark hair. see the flowers? we were in a musical. precious.}

♥ ♥

catching up and drivers licenses.

let me just get right to it, okay? next friday (aka my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY) my drivers license expires. normally i'd be like "eh no big" but i no longer live in utah. i live in texas now and i have heard horror stories on the dmv here. it literally takes all day to wait in line and have done what you need done but mostly just wait in line. furthermore, the last time i renewed my license was 5 years ago. do you know what that means? i've gained weight! lots of it! i can see it now. i approach the desk with my paper filled out, the worker looks at my form and begins to read over it. hair: red, eyes: blue (ish), weight:... she'll look up at me and back down at the paper and then back up at me. then she'll smile sympathetically at me. she knows. she knows i lied. she knows i weigh far more than that. but she'll let it slide.
...at least i don't have to take a written test. i would unabatedly fail.

i'm going next tuesday. my mom, sister and i have decided to make a trip of it. i'm sure you'll be hearing from me afterwards.

and now, i believe i'm quite behind on some pictures...
so, i present: me, years 1996-2003

{no, this wasn't Halloween.}

{yes. i played the clarinet ^. basically, i wasn't very good... which is why i no longer play the clarinet.}

{was anyone else super into bucket hats like my friends and i? - i'm the one with the braces.}

{hi, i hate fishing. to be honest, i probably didn't even catch that fish. my dad probably caught it and let me hold it so i could look legit for the photo. what a nice dad.}

{i was 16 when my 1st youngest brother was born. i was also very pale and wore overalls. yuck.}

2001

2002

i can't find pictures from these years.

boo.

but, if you like looking at young me and you missed some years, i've taken the liberty of providing some convenient linkage. your welcome.

1985. 1986. 1987. 1988. 1989.

1990. 1991. 1992.1993.

♥ ♥

a date. {& probably the most random post EVER.}

over the weekend my brother turned 10. as the doting oldest sister i am, i take all of my siblings on one-on-one dates for their birthdays. in this case i took both of my youngest brothers out but they are best friends and basically inseparable and i quite enjoy both of their company so i considered it a treat for myself.
boo, the birthday boy, got to choose where we ate {applebees} and then i treated them to a flick as well {the smurfs - not my favorite movie in the world, but they enjoyed it and that's what's counts}.
we had fun and i can't think of two other boys i'd have rather spent my evening with.

raise your hand if you love poorly lit photos.

yeah, they're my fave too.

no but seriously why do all restaurant photos end up with an orange-y glow to them? how do i avoid that without using my horrendous flash? i'm just all about the natural light.

you know what else i'm all about? 1993.

1993 was the year i got baptized into my church and was also my last year living in Las Vegas, NV. i spent my last year there playing lots of Star Wars and X-Men with my friend, Matthew and my sister. and tuning into Dinosaurs every week.

 that was the life.

♥ ♥

1992. aka the year i knew.

first of all, can we just take a minute to enjoy my mom and sister's faces in this photo?

classic.

secondly, let's talk about 1992. or rather, what i loved in 1992.

firstly, all of my school supplies were lisa frank.

i loved that woman's work. brightly colored unicorns and house pets and penguins and such. genius.

secondly, i loved movies like home alone, an american tale, the land before time and teen wolf.

yes, i grew up a disney kid but i also watched many don bluth films as well.

and lastly, this was the year i received the complete tales of beatrix potter for my birthdy.

it was beatrix potter (and partly maurice sendak and arnold lobel) that instilled a love for stories in me. i had always loved to read (as we've seen here and here) but it was her stories that made me want to write and since then it has never left me.

therefore, i mark the year 1992 as the year i knew what i wanted to be when i grew up.

happy monday, all.

make it a good one.



♥ ♥

part of your world.

i definitely grew up a disney kid. i remember being addicted to any and all disney movies. one of the earliest ones i remember really getting into was the little mermaid.

i loved scuttle, and the music and the story. i distinctly remember watching it over and over and over again singing along with the songs and quoting the lines.

i thought ariel's life was so magical living under the sea and falling in love with a human. and i loved her long, beautiful, red hair. *sigh*

what's the first disney movie you remember?

♥ ♥

1990.

which one am i?

♥ ♥

(check out my other Golden Birthday years: 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988 & 1989)

the execution of the smiley face.

from this day forward, never again will i type/text one of these bad boys: :)
the sheer sight of the dreaded colon and right side parenthesis makes me want to do anything but SMILE. if i cannot express myself properly without having to throw in a :) or two, then i am not very good at expressing myself now am i?
absolutely not.

you all have my word. no. more. :)'s. (i'll get to the lols later. one step at a time.)

you know who else would cringe if they knew i am using so many smiley faces in my daily correspondence with people?
4-year-old-me:

on a completely unrelated note when it comes to these wretched things: :), who loves my Harry Potteresque that i'm rocking in this photo? i mean even the box that i'm sitting in to read resembles Harry's cupboard under the stairs.
don't worry, J.K. Rowling has already sent me a thank you letter for being her inspiration.

♥ ♥

1988.

take a gander at fancy schmancy me:

what a classy broad i was...

sorry for the lack of words.

on the bright side, it is thursday which is practically friday which means what children?

the. week. end.

aka pool, netflix, read, read, read.

life at its finest.

♥ ♥

i turned 2 in 1987. what'd you do?

also going on in the world at that time:

the anti-depressant Prozac made its debut, the Simpsons first aired on television and Hilary Duff was born. 1987 was the year the world learned that nobody puts baby in a corner and Michael Jackson's Bad was released.

man, 1987 was a great year. no one was depressed and every woman fantasized about having a Johnny Castle of her very own...

where were you in 1987?

♥ ♥

1986.

in 1986 Ronald Reagan was the prez of the United States...

Mike Tyson was the youngest heavy weight champion in history (he also set the record for most ears bitten off...)

 

IBM came out with the first lap top ever...

and The Money Pit, one of the most hilarious films ever, hit theatres (seriously, if you haven't seen it, please do.) everybody was watching Cheers on television and crooning to Madonna and Whitney Houston on their tape players.

also, i was turning one-year-old.
and falling asleep in my cake.
true story:

 happy tuesday, folks!

♥ ♥

(other years featured in my Golden Birthday series: 1985.)

golden years.

hi.so, its august.
if you know me, you know that means: its my birthday month. if you don't know me then, well i don't need to repeat myself now do i?
but this year isn't just my *cough*26th*cough* birthday. its my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY! so in honor of that and all things me (ha!), i thought i'd share a picture from each year that i've been alive. one a day until the day: august 26th.
congratulations everyone, you get to see me grow up.

so, i was born in 1985; the year the first mobile phone call was made, the year Michael Jackson purchased the entire Beatles catalogue (for 47 million buckaroos) and the year that everyone was tuning in to the Cosbys, Growing Pains and Baywatch. AIDS was also on the rise and TWA flight 847 was hijacked by terrorists.

none of that mattered to me, of course, as i was just a baby:

i was born in a hospital in utah to my mummy and dad and i was the first child, grandchild and niece in the entire family. so, naturally, i was spoiled rotten and it had everything to do with me being the first not how adorable i was...

knowing all that information should help you all have a marvelous monday.
if it doesn't then go watch this. that might help. or it might just creep you out...

xo's and o's, all!

♥ ♥

this one time when i had a pet duck.

its 2005 and easter is rapidly approaching. a girl that i was attending hair school with came back from lunch one day with a pet duck that she had just purchased. i took one look at the duck and died. srsly. cutest. thing. ever. after about an hour of looking at her pet duck, the girl decided she no longer wanted it. "i'll take it" i told her.

that day, i went home with a cage and duck food and my very own pet duck. (did i mention i didn't ask the parentals before bringing it home? i was an ask for forgiveness not permission type of girl.)

after a little coaxing, my mom and dad finally agreed to let me keep it.

i named the duck maizer.

{don't judge me for my choice in pants. it was 2005. i even wore vans and pooka shells with the ensemble!}

when i got maizer he (never did know if it was a he or a she...) was just a tiny little thing with yellow feathers and a pumpkin orange beak. i'd put maizer in my purse and take him shopping with me (who needs a poodle when you have a duck, right?) or fill up the wading pool in our front yard and let him swim around.

maizer would follow me around like i was his mama and we had the best of times.

but it was short lived. maizer grew quickly and soon he was too big for his cage (and the wading pool).

we had no where to keep him. he had nowhere to swim.

i was sad.

maizer was sad.

even mom was a little sad.

then she remembered of a friend she had that has a farm of chickens and ducks. (the non-killing type of farm.) we called said friend and asked if she'd like to take my duck. she said "bring him on over!" so we did.

maizer lives at the farm now. i know he's happier there then he ever could have been at my house, but i do miss him sometimes.

and i'll never forget him.

what sorts of pets have you had?