my blogger deficiency and more...

i've been on blogger a lot less lately.
its not that i haven't wanted to blog (or read everyone else's blogs). its just that i have not had the time to sit down and waste away in front of le blog like i usually do.
i've been so busy and life has gotten weird and fun and wonderful and you'd think that i'd have more to blog about because of this and technically i do, but since gaining a more weird, fun and wonderful life i've traded my time for it. (how was that for the longest sentence ever?)

so now, here i sit with so much on my mind but unable to put my thoughts into words. thus has been my life the past, oh i don't know, month.
its whatever.

let me see if i can explain:
so, my life has gotten weird in a sense that i'm actually making friends here (in TX). i'm actually enjoying myself here and beginning to think of this place as "home". that's weird for me considering the nomad that i am and the closed off, disconnected nature i've grown accustomed to. don't get me wrong. i like it. but its been a stretch for me to let people in and let them see the me that my close friends and family have known for years. and its scary for me; knowing that any given day i could pick up my life again and move and never see these people again, but... i love the people i'm becoming friends with. they are awesome and incredible and sweet and intriginging. and i love Texas (maybe not the sports teams, but...).

life is fun because i'm becoming more involved in everything. and by everything i mean work and church. i just got what would be considered a "promotion" at my job (yeah, its not as awesome as it sounds. no raise came with this promotion, but i'm working on that!) which is allowing me to feel like i can help my co-workers more than i could before. that, for me, is excellent. i might actually feel productive again in my work place. and i'm becoming friends with my co-workers. i feel respected and i respect them in return. its a feeling i haven't had for a long time. and as for church there is always so much going on, i'm just finally involving myself in all of it. i feel busy. and when i'm busy i feel productive. and when i'm productive i feel happy. in addition to that the people that i attend church with are so uplifting and wonderful to be around. i like them and the people they are.

and life is wonderful because God and Jesus Christ live. and they know me and they love me. i know they do whith all my heart. i may not have very much direction in my life right now (i'm 25, not married, i have no career and i am still just kind of ho humming around) but when i think of myself concerning my religion, everything feels right and in place. i feel like i have direction and guidance and that everyting is going to work out. that is an amazing feeling.

isn't life just so crazy beautiful?
i kind of think so.