the freshman chronicles: one week in

i didn't mean to complain this early on but...

for this summer semester i'm taking 12 credits (or 4 classes. which ever way you want to look at it...) and i already, after only my second day, have mixed feelings about school.
you see, i've never done well in school. elementary school i did fine until about 3rd grade. then, after moving twice and attending 3 different schools, my academics started to take a turn for the worse. 6th grade it got incredibly bad and by middle school i was feeling pretty hopeless about myself and this whole fad people called school. i did end up graduating from high school (after long agonizing hours of lots and lots make-up work) and somehow i pulled through hair school as well. but naturally after all that, i vowed that i. was. done.
but guess what? i was wrong. last year i started getting the urge to go to school again. since i finally figured out what i wanted to do with my life i thought it'd be a good idea to do so.
only now, here i am and i'm wondering if i was right.
the thing is, i love my classes. they're all really interesting and i get excited hearing things that will help my future out. but the fact that i have to show up at 8:45am (again, early for me) three days a week (mon, wed, and fri) and turn in assignments and take tests and yadda, yadda, yadda is what gets me. i feel like its controlling my life. taking away my freedom to sleep in or hang out with my friends or whatever else it is i would choose to do. obviously i lack the discipline needed for a college student. but with school and homework and then a job on top of that, i'm wondering when i'll get time to be me...
i guess a change of attitude is in order. i know that what i'm learning will help make me a better person not only in my line of profession but in my personal life as well. so why can't i just shut up and be grateful?


erica marie said...

I get what you mean, I signed up to go back to school in the fall and I'm already so busy now I don't even know where school will fit in.

Emma said...

i know what you mean about you feeling like you have no "me time". i struggle with that a lot!! good luck!