recently i've been having one struggle after another. i know that this is life and that's how things are, but that fact doesn't automatically and magically make things easier to deal with.
i haven't been dealing with any one big struggle, just little ones that have been eating away at me, slowly bringing me down.
yesterday was the turning point. after trying for almost 24 hours to find a ride to work, i still had nothing. no one. finally, i broke down and called my manager and told him i didn't think i was going to make it because i didn't have a ride. while i thought [hoped] he'd be understanding, he was almost the complete opposite. he told me i either had to find a way there or get my shift covered. and he wasn't flowery about it either. after i got off the phone with him, i wanted to scream. i was SO mad. all i could do was cry.
then i realized, it wasn't his problem i couldn't find a ride. it wasn't his problem i don't have a car. those are my problems. my problems alone. i'm an adult now. one who has to skip out on movies and meals out to be able to pay my bills, one who gives up eating real food for a few weeks just so i have enough money to buy and send my brother a birthday present, and one who has absolutely no love life. but those are all my problems. this is life. my life. its up to me to be successful and achieve my dreams. no one else can do that for me and honestly, why would i want them to? if we all lived by mediocrity and doing the bare minimum, where would the growth come from? it sucks that for growth to happen, there has to be struggles, but that's how it is! there is sadness so that there may be happiness, tragedy so that we might have compassion, and trials so that we may raise above them. as much as i hate miley cyrus, her song, the climb, is often relevant in my life. "it aint about how fast i get there, it aint about what's waiting on the other side, its the climb."
i eventually got to work, and later on that night i gave myself a good talking to, telling myself that i could do it. and i can. i can do it.
life isn't easy, but it wasn't meant to be. life is a learning experience. so learn from it. its the smartest way to live.